How Being Mysterious Creates Attraction

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How to Be Mysterious to Attract People

Three Parts:

Mysterious people are attractive because humans are naturally curious and want to know more about them. When you allow people’s imaginations to fill in the gaps about you, they’ll be drawn in to see if their assumptions prove to be correct. You can become more mysterious by following a few simple steps.

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The best way to be mysterious in order to attract people is to leave them with unanswered questions about yourself. Ask questions about others rather than speaking at length about yourself. Be unavailable sometimes, like by declining invitations occasionally or letting people’s calls go to voicemail. Show that you are unpredictable by changing up your routine and planning creative outings.Read on to find out more about how to reciprocate someone’s interest while maintaining your mystery!


Cultivating a Mysterious Demeanor

  1. Make eye contact.Making eye contact shows that you have confidence. Also, when you make eye contact with someone, it shows that you’re interested in learning more about them. Make sure that you don’t hold eye contact for too long – about two seconds is a good length – lest you come off as creepy or intimidating.
  2. Be calm.Animated people don’t leave much too the imagination because they are the center of attention. To be attractively mysterious, be calm, somewhat serious, and relatively even-keeled. Be the calm at the center of the storm, no matter how lively things are around you.
  3. Learn a lot about a few things.You’re mysterious and intelligent. Because you won’t be talking about yourself much, you’ll need to learn about some topics that you can talk about at length. Not only does this keep the conversation away from your personal story, it shows that you’re passionate enough about a subject to learn it.
    • Make sure that the topic is interesting and not polarizing. For example, presidential candidates might be interesting but they’re also polarizing. Instead, the impact of farm-produced fish on the environment is interesting and likely to not be very polarizing at all.
  4. Ask questions.Asking questions is an excellent way to be mysterious and attract people and serves a few purposes. It allows you to keep the conversation away from your personal details, it shows interest in another person, and, most of all, it allows that people to talk about themselves. People will think you’re especially interested in them and be flattered that you wanted to hear their story.
    • Start off with simple questions like “where are you from originally?” or “where would you travel to if money was no object?” Listen to the answers and ask questions based on those answers, such as: “Oh, you’d like to travel to Paris? What is it about the City of Lights that you find attractive? Would you travel alone or with someone?”
  5. Make them smile.Just because you’re mysterious doesn’t mean that you can’t be charming. Make people smile. Smiling makes people feel good and it makes people instantly feel warmer toward the person that made them smile. Don’t be afraid to smile yourself, too. This shows a good-natured appreciation of life that is attractive to just about everyone.
    • You don’t have to talk to someone to make them smile. When you’re making eye contact, give the other person a little smile and watch, they’ll return the favor.
  6. Change the topic.Just because you’re not going to spend much time talking about yourself doesn’t mean that you can’t direct the conversation. This works because changing topics fairly frequently shows your audience that you’re not only mysterious, but that you’re confident and knowledgeable about a variety of topics.
    • Look for natural opportunities to change topics, which will come up typically in someone else’s response to something.
    • This is a great time to ask a question, which will direct the conversation in another direction.
  7. Be an alpha or a flirt.Depending on your gender, being mysterious can be a sign that you’re an alpha male or a flirty female, two archetypes that are attractive to almost everyone. Mysterious people exude confidence, and that confidence can be interpreted differently depending on your gender. What is fairly universal, though, regardless of gender, is that mysterious people are quietly in control, but not flamboyant of attention seeking.
    • This idea refers back to the psychology of attraction, which posits that attraction is physiological and psychological, and that the two inform one another.

Ensuring You Don’t Appear Creepy

  1. Keep some things to yourself.When talking to someone, don’t tell them your life story. You’re not an open book. Instead, you’re mysterious and need to leave gaps in your story. That will encourage people to ask questions, think about what you’ve said, and fill in the gaps of your story with their imaginations.
    • A great way to approach this idea is to only answer questions that you’re asked about yourself as opposed to simply offering up information. Even when you’re answering questions, give as little information as possible while still satisfying the questioner.
    • If someone asks you about your weekend, make some vague reply such as "I met up with some friends and we did some things in town." If they question you further, just say nothing and smile mysteriously.
  2. Don’t always be available.If you’re always available, you might seem eager and you certainly won’t appear mysterious. Instead, you want to be available occasionally, although usually not, which will make your attentions almost seem like a reward.
    • This applies to phone calls, texts, video chats, and get-togethers. If your phone rings, let it go to voicemail. If you receive a text or direct message, don’t read it right away. If they suggest that you get together, don’t enthusiastically say yes. Check your calendar first. You’re mysterious when you’re often unavailable.
  3. Don’t be a flashy dresser.You don’t want to stand out in a crowd because of your flashy clothes, bright colors, or loud patterns. Instead, you want to keep your clothing somewhat modest, but still different from everyone around you. Darker colors are more mysterious.
    • If people around you tend to wear jeans, for example, consider wearing boot cut jeans. If everyone wears boots, consider loafers.

Part 2 Quiz

How can you work to leave some gaps in your story?

Maintaining the Mystery

  1. Be unpredictable.Being unpredictable lends to your mysterious demeanor. This doesn’t mean that you should act of character with your love interest or confuse them. Even worse, hurt their feelings. Being unpredictable simply means defying your own routines and patterns every now and then. This will demonstrate that there are still some secrets up your sleeve and keep it interesting.
    • For example, if you always grab a coffee on your way to work, decide to go for a jog instead one day.
    • Or, if you always wait for your love interest to call you, surprise them with a phone call.
  2. Remember to reciprocate.Your love interest is attracted to you and perhaps you’ve taken your relationship to another level. Remember, you can be mysterious and still reciprocate feelings and interest. People tend to feel more attracted to those who they feel are attracted to them, so reciprocate their interest in you.
    • For example, you can still be mysterious and bring your love interest flowers or send a simple text that says, “thinking of you.” Small gestures mean a lot, especially from a mysterious person.

Part 3 Quiz

What kind of unpredictable behavior can make you more seem mysterious?

Community Q&A

  • Question
    I think that when a man is mysterious, it drives me crazy. How can I not feel like a creep when I try to find out more?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Be subtle when you're asking. You can also act mysterious yourself to make him want to know more about you. If being mysterious doesn’t work out for you, try being more seductive. You can get anything out of a guy by being seductive.
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  • Act a bit shy. This is a great opportunity to flash your smile.
  • Memorize lots of random facts, and employ them when that certain subject pops up in chance conversation.
  • Do not let your crush catch you idle. When you are seen absorbed with things all the time, it makes them wonder about what you are up to.
  • Only talk when people talk to you.
  • Don't spend a lot of time in one place; moving around makes people wonder what exactly is so important you have to go do it.
  • Learn a lot of general knowledge or interesting, unknown facts.
  • Silently stare at your crush from time to time, but blink and slowly look away when they see you staring.


  • Don't be too mysterious. This can lead to suspicion, a HUGE turn-off.
  • Drop your mysterious pretense a little when you finally catch the object of your affection, but don't ditch it completely. You want to keep them on their toes, always anticipating your many surprises.

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Date: 10.12.2018, 23:17 / Views: 93535