How To Flirt Without Being Creepy and How To Approach (Flirting Advice and Tips)
How to Flirt Without Getting a Bad Reputation
Flirting should be fun and harmless, but it can be hard to enjoy yourself when you’re worried about people gossiping about you. For both genders there can unfortunately be negative stigma around flirting. Especially if you have an extremely friendly or touchy-feely personality, people can assume things about you that aren’t true. If you are worried about what people might say, aim to be sweet when you flirt rather than overtly sexual. Also try to pick out opportune moments to flirt so that gossip won’t be a concern!
Starting a Conversation With Your Crush
Wait for the right moment.If you want to flirt in person with your crush, wait until it feels right. You don’t have to wait until you are alone with your crush, but if you notice that there are people around you who are especially gossipy or seem to be watching you and your crush, wait for a different time to talk to your crush.
- Wait until you feel at ease in your environment and you won’t be uncomfortable with the people around you hearing you flirt with your crush.
Make eye contact.Establishing eye contact is key to any kind of flirting. It’s also a great way to initiate a conversation if you don’t want to be overly-flirtatious. Make eye contact with your crush to show them that you are interested in talking without being too forceful.
- Especially if you’re a girl worried about seeming too forward, using eye contact is a great way to acknowledge your crush and hint that you may want to talk with them.
- Don’t overdo eye contact. Hold eye contact no more than a few seconds, especially if you haven’t started talking.
Give your crush a sweet smile.Remember to smile when you’re talking to your crush or trying to get their attention. A smile shows that you are receptive and interested without seeming too forward.
- Try to give your crush a cute or coy smile rather than a huge grin.
- If you’re a girl, try smiling at your crush, then flitting your eyes downward, then looking back at your crush. This is a modest gesture that will make you seem shy and endearing.
Start the conversation off innocently.Don’t immediately jump into flirting when you see your crush. Instead, have a casual conversation about work, school or something else you have in common. You could even ask your crush a question about themselves. This is a good way to ease into your conversation and to not make it look like you are trying too hard.
- You could say something like, “So have you gotten started on that English project yet? I’m completely stuck!”
Ask your crush questions to keep the conversation going.A great way to keep a conversation going and build natural rapport is to ask your crush questions about themselves whenever there is a lull in the conversation. This will make you and your crush begin to have a good back and forth that can set the stage for flirting.Some good questions to ask include:
- What do you like to do for fun?
- How long have you lived around here? Did you grow up in this town?
- What is your favorite class? What do you like about it?
- Do you have any pets?
Use the right body language.When you’re talking to your crush, use subtle body language to show your interest. Using non-verbal cues is a great way of letting your crush know you’re interested in them, even if everyone around you has no idea!
- Turn your whole body, in particular your torso, feet and face, toward your crush as you talk. This will show your crush that you are interested in what they have to say and that you have their undivided attention.
- Mirror your crush’s body stance and gestures to subconsciously communicate to him or her that the two of you are in sync.
- Stand or sit closer to your crush than you would to a friend. Getting in your crush’s personal space shows them that you are comfortable with being close to them.
- Look at your crush’s mouth. While your crush is talking, look into their eyes, then flick your eyes downward toward their mouth. This may awaken your crush’s desire to give you a kiss!
Keep the conversation playful.Aim to keep the conversation light and fun. Smile while you are talking to your crush, and if the moment is right, gently joke or tease them about something. Joking with your crush is a great way to take the conversation into flirting territory.
- For instance, if you run into your crush constantly you could say, “I’ve been seeing you everywhere! I have to ask, are you following me?”
- Remember to smile and speak with a playful tone of voice so your crush knows that you are joking.
- Don’t make a joke that is overly sexual. This could make the person you are flirting with feel uncomfortable, which is the opposite of what you want!
Compliment your crush.Complimenting your crush is an innocent yet effective way of flirting that shows that your interest. A compliment is a great tool to use because on the surface it just seems like a nice thing to say, but in the context of your conversation it’s a subtle way to be flirty.Some compliments you might give include:
- “You have the best hair! It always looks amazing!”
- “I saw you score at the game the other day. You are so athletic!”
- “I love this shirt on you. The color really complements your eyes.”
Use touch sparingly.Touch is a powerful tool to use during flirting when used correctly. If your crush seems receptive to your flirtations in general, do something like touching your crush’s arm when you are laughing at their jokes. Even a brief, friendly touch can change the dynamic of the conversation and bring it to the next level.
- Touch your crush on a place like their shoulder or arm, rather than an area that may feel too intimate.
- Don’t touch your crush more than once or twice in the course of the conversation. If you’re hanging onto your crush or too insistent on physical contact, it will make your crush uncomfortable and may cause the people around you to talk.
Let only your crush see that you’re flirting.Try to flirt in a way that is apparent only to your crush. Communicate your interest with your eyes and your tone of voice so that the fact that you’re flirting isn’t immediately obvious to those around you.
- If you are a very friendly or touchy-feely person, try to tone these aspects down. Even though they are part of your personality, if your crush or the people around you don’t already know you well, your flirting could seem over the top!
Keep it short.Aim to keep your conversation short and playful so that you leave your crush intrigued. It’s better to have a brief, flirty conversation than a long, lackluster one. If you leave your crush feeling like they want more, they’ll initiate flirtatious conversation in the future and take some of the pressure off you!
Maintaining Your Image
Dress casually.Dress in a way that is comfortable for you. Don’t dress in a way that you think others might find impressive. To avoid looking like you’re trying too hard, wear clothes that are casual and comfortable but still make you look good.
- Try to choose clothes that flatter your body and that you feel comfortable wearing. Avoid wearing clothes that are too tight or that make you feel self-conscious.
Keep your social media tame.Sometimes it’s easy to forget how many people can see your social media, including the gossipers in your life. Instead of posting directly to your crush’s page on social media, try texting or messaging them instead. This will keep your flirtations out of the public eye.
- If you are worried about your reputation in general, don’t post provocative pictures of yourself on social media. This will definitely garner attention, but it may not be the attention that you want.
Don’t flirt with everyone.Save flirting for people that you are genuinely interested in. If you flirt with everyone in your class, you’ll get a reputation as a “player” or as someone who is desperate for a girlfriend or boyfriend. Even if you are just having harmless fun, flirting with a large amount of people can cause damage to your reputation.
- Be very careful to not flirt with a group of friends. For instance, if you flirt with one girl and she doesn’t seem into you, don’t flirt with her friends right after her. This will make you seem inconsiderate and shallow.
Keep your love life private.Don’t make your love life the stuff of cafeteria gossip. Confide the details of your personal life only to trusted friends and acquaintances. Even if many people know your dating history or who you have asked out, stay mum about this aspect of your life, especially around people you know like to gossip.
- Remember that less is more when it comes to flirting. Make your crush feel intrigued at the end of your conversation, and wanting to know more about you.
- If you feel like you are doing everything right but people are still gossiping about you, hold your head high. Remember that some people will tear others down no matter what, and try to ignore their petty remarks.
Video: How to Flirt Without Being Creepy
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