How To Shut Down Haters
How to Ignore Bullies
Trying to deal with a bully, whether at school, at work, or at home, can be incredibly difficult. While there are many tactics for preventing bullying and dealing with severe bullying in a direct way, you can also try using more passive ways to cope with being bullied.
Using Body Language
Avoid giving a bully the opportunity to bully you.Most bullies will look for easy opportunities to victimize someone, or “easy targets”. Try to avoid being an easy target by being aware of the bully’s movements when you are in the same room with them and focus on keeping to yourself.
- For example, choose a table further away from the bully at lunch, or a seat in class that is not within eyesight of the bully.
- It’s also important to keep an eye on your belongings and avoid giving the bully an opportunity to bully you. For example: maybe you leave your lunch on the table while you go to the vending machine for a drink. When you get back to the table, your lunch is now in the hands of the bully. To avoid this, bring your lunch with you or leave your lunch with a group of friends or individuals you trust.
- If you're trying to avoid a bully at the office, plan your lunch so you aren't in the lunch room at the same time or schedule a meeting so you don't have to cross paths with the bully.
- By being conscious of the presence of the bully, you avoid leaving yourself open to bullying.
Put on your poker face.Most bullies want a reaction from you, whether it be turning red with anger, pale with embarrassment, or expressing fear with tears. Most bullies enjoy when they can tell their words and actions bother you and will continue bullying you to get the same reaction over and over again.
- The term “poker face” is used to describe how people make bets in a poker game - they use a blank expression on their faces when betting so other people in the game cannot read their expression or tell that they may be bluffing.
- When a bully starts taunting you, put on an emotionless and expressionless poker face to send a message that the teasing and bullying will not get to you. Don’t give the bully the satisfaction of showing a reaction to their hurtful words or actions.
Tune out the bully.You want to try to avoid baiting or encouraging the bully to tease or taunt, so deny them any attention to diffuse the situation and force the bully to leave you alone. Even if the bully is making eye-contact, look away.
- Try putting on your headphones and listening to your favorite song instead of the taunts of the bully, or close your eyes and silently count backwards from 10.
- In the office, tune out the bully by walking away and starting a conversation with someone else in the room or at another desk.
Don’t bully back.Avoid reacting to the bully by hitting, kicking, pushing or name calling. Fighting back usually only encourages the bully to continue taunting you and can be dangerous as someone will likely be injured or hurt.
- If you’re dealing with a bully at school or at work, bullying back may also get you in trouble and give the bully the satisfaction of seeing you in the principal’s office or detention.
- In an office setting, bullying back could lead to an awkward meeting with your boss about your reactive behavior or embarrassment in front of other co-workers for responding aggressively to the bully.
Use a comeback line.While this is a more active way to deal with bullying, a good comeback line can diffuse the situation and force the bully to realize they are not going to make you visibly angry or upset.
- For example: a bully may come up to you and yell a cruel or threatening remark. A brief response like “Why would you say that?” takes the focus off the insult and places it back on the bully, while still avoiding name calling or an angry remark. This kind of comeback can throw the bully off guard and make them so uncomfortable they will likely leave you alone.
- A simple response such as “Really?” or “Seriously?” as well as a bored-sounding response like “whatever”, or “uh huh” can also show you don’t take the bully’s remarks to heart and aren’t going to engage in an aggressive interaction with them.
- If the bully is threatening you with physical violence, it is always best to not engage with the bully at all. Walk away and find a safe space around an adult or an authority figure.
- If you are a parent who is trying to teach your child how to deter a bully, practice several good comebacks with them at home. Role playing with them will allow them to assert themselves and confront the reality of bullying. It will also let them know they can come to you if they are having any further problems with bullies.
Remove the bully’s audience.Most bullies enjoy bullying someone around others to establish their power and dominance and send a message to others that they are in charge. It’s important to work on deflecting attention away from the bully’s actions so they do not have an audience for their taunting and teasing.
- Using a good comeback line to diffuse, rather than escalate, the situation with the bully can help remove their audience. While a fight or loud shouting with the bully can lead to more attention, a passive action can lead to less attention.
- For example, if a bully is taunting you on the bus, deflect attention away from the bully's words by moving seats to sit next to someone else or striking up a conversation with a friend sitting nearby.
- If you are in a work situation with a bully, another tactic might be to change the subject or shift the conversation away from the bully’s remarks. This will indicate the bully has no power in the conversation and will remove any chances they may have to gain attention for their bullying behavior.
Finding an Ally
Make a buddy.Most bullies tend to single out loners or individuals who do not seem to have a community of friends or allies. So find a buddy and vow to stick together to avoid being bullied.
- Walk with a friend on the way to school, or make a plan to meet up at recess or lunch so you can show bullies that you have strength in number and have allies to back you up.
- If you are dealing with bullies in the office, look for co-workers you feel you can trust and rely on to help you deflect or ignore bullies.
Focus on building your self esteem and self worth.Another way to ignore a bully is to find an ally in yourself. Work on building your self esteem and self worth so that when a bully comes up to you, ready to insult you or taunt you, you can feel strong and secure enough to ignore them.
- Think about a skill you’re good at or would like to get better at, like a sport, a creative art, or a craft. Put time and energy into improving your abilities in a certain skill so you can feel good about yourself, despite a bully’s taunts or hurtful actions.
- You may also feel good by doing small things as part of your daily routine, like showering in the morning before school or setting aside time to choose an outfit and get dressed or groom yourself in a way that makes you feel confident and strong.
Talk to an authority figure.Though this may not fall under ignoring a bully, it is very important to tell an adult if you are being bullied, especially if you have already tried other passive ways of dealing with the bully and they still will not leave you alone. Find someone you trust, like a teacher, a parent, or a manager, and let them know you are being bullied. Use the allies around you to help you deal with the bully.
- Remember that telling is not the same as tattling. Tattling is meant to make someone else look bad, as there is no victim involved when you tattle. But telling or reporting is done in the service of others, as it's meant to help someone.
- It’s a heroic thing to stand up for someone who’s being hurt. Bullying is wrong and it can only help the situation if you speak up and let an authority figure know you are being bullied or someone you know is being bullied.
Video: Ways to Stop Bullying
30 Hilarious Quotes To Put On Your Letter Board
Create an Eye-Catching Logo to Focus Your Brand
How to Check a Florida Mortgage Brokers License
How to Clean Cast Iron
Paradizia Euphoria SpringSummer 2013 Swimwear
The Style QA: Miranda Kerr
How to Freeze Carrots
6 Designer Print Brands For SpringSummer 2015
Cutting 1 Thing Out of Her Diet Cured This Beauty Pageant Contestants Horrible Acne
Could this be the most luxurious hair range ever
Why All Men Should Visit The G-Spot Of Europe
How to Use a Loofah
Career Advice: How to Find Your Passion